“Gabor Maté’s The Myth of Normal: Reflections on Trauma and Healing”
Last night I had the privilege of attending Gabor Maté’s live event in Sydney with a group of amazing colleagues and we got to soak up his knowledge, experience and wisdom (alongside some 8,500 other people!) as he shared profound insights from his book The Myth of Normal. I wanted to get some of my thoughts down whilst I am still buzzing from the event, fan girling, nerding out and inspired. His work continues to challenge the way we understand trauma, health, and healing, reinforcing the essential role of compassionate, body-based therapies in recovery.
Key Messages from Gabor Maté
Maté’s central premise is that “trauma is not just what happens to us, but what happens inside us” as a result of painful experiences. Trauma shapes our nervous system, influences our beliefs about safety and connection, and often manifests in patterns of emotional distress, chronic illness, or relationship difficulties. Importantly, he reminds us that “these adaptations are not flaws—they are survival strategies” developed in response to adversity.
A particularly powerful message was Maté’s discussion on the tension between “authenticity and attachment“. From an early age, many of us learn to suppress parts of ourselves to maintain connection with caregivers. Over time, this self-suppression can lead to disconnection, emotional numbness, or even physical symptoms. Healing, then, requires a process of “reconnecting with our authentic selves in a safe and supported way“.
This is tip of iceberg stuff considering the length, depth and breadth of his work and I encourage you to read his books, listen to him speak and follow his work if it resonates with you.
Why This Resonates Deeply with My Work
Listening to Maté, I was struck by how closely his approach aligns with the therapies I am most drawn to—EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) and Resource Therapy.
- EMDR allows clients to process and integrate traumatic memories so that they no longer carry the same emotional charge. By targeting the deeply held distress stored in the nervous system, EMDR supports the brain’s natural ability to heal.
- Resource Therapy focuses on identifying and strengthening different parts of the self, offering a compassionate way to work with the emotional adaptations that have formed in response to trauma. This helps clients regain a sense of agency, emotional regulation, and self-understanding.
Both of these therapies, like Maté’s work, emphasise that “healing is not about erasing the past but about changing our relationship to it“. By processing unresolved experiences and strengthening inner resources, we create space for authentic self-connection and well-being.
Final Thoughts
Maté’s insights continue to shape my perspective as a therapist, reinforcing why I believe so strongly in therapies that engage both the mind and body in healing. Trauma does not define us, but the way we support ourselves through it can shape the future we create.
If you are navigating the effects of trauma, anxiety, or emotional distress, therapies like EMDR and Resource Therapy can provide a path toward healing. If you’d like to learn more or explore support options, I invite you to reach out.
Kate x
Did you go to his show? I would love to hear what you thought about it if you did?
